Drunken Mornings

I asked J.P. Friday night if I was gonna work for him Saturday and he told me he'd need help Saturday night. Turns out he meant Sunday morning...

At 8:30p.m. Saturday night I began working for him. Myself, J.P., 2 middle aged woman, and a middle aged man served food, bar tended, bussed tables, and facilitated a party for 80 which turned into one for 150...

I started by taking drink orders for tables and delivering trays of pints, mixed drinks, pops, and hard ciders. I pushed through the crowd dodging youngsters running around below me and drunk adults stumbling around above. I nervously transported the trays through the sea of people. The cost of liquor with their high taxes in Ireland made it seem as if I was moving trays of liquid gold only I didn't have the security of a Brink Truck.

After delivering their first round I collected empty glasses. Meanwhile the Irish party goers bought more booze, then after that bought more, and more, and then even more, then it slowed down so they danced, sang, and bought even more. After that they bought even more! I bet each person averaged 6 drinks... From ages 18-90 they all drank and they all could handle their liquor. Live music filled the airwaves and put a beat to the pounding of their beers. The musician played Irish music and American folk like Dylan and Cash. The drunk older generation showed off their dance moves while the younger generation looked in amazement. I didn't know old people could move that quick... I guess while I was virtually moving with Nintendo video games my parents and grandparents generation were working and actually dancing. I guess if you don't play Dance Dance Revolution you need to learn the real deal...

In between songs the elderly athletic dances quenched their thirst with pints of Guinness. Meanwhile my generation nursed their drinks and only wished they could dance. At midnight the live music left and the DJ moved in. Slowly the elderly exited the dance floor for a drinking break and the young guns loaded with liquor took their shot at the dance floor. The music turned into classics like the Village People, Simon and Garfunkel, Neil Diamond, Don McLean, and Grease...

Eventually the whole party consumed the dance floor and drunkenly moved to the music...

Meanwhile I continuously bussed the tables taking stacks and stacks of empty pint glasses, and mixed drink glasses back to the bar to be washed and redistributed. In between taking stacks of glassware back I cleared the tables of empty glass bottles and filled the recycling bin. I filled 3 trash cans full of bottles over the course of the night! And replenished the ice pails mounted on each corner of the pub multiple times.

Numerous times throughout the night/early morning drunken Irish stopped me to comment on my work ethic. One stopped me and said, "You know how I know you're not Irish...? Cuz we don't work that fast here, you need to slow down, you're making us look bad..." or the other bar tender looked at me and called me over to him and joked by asking, "Have you seen your passport lately?" I looked at him in a confused manner and he continued, "You better hold on tight to it cuz if J.P. finds it he might burn it and keep you hostage here as his worker." (I decided to omit the excessive F bombs embedded in the quotes so they didn't distract from the point of the statement.)

Around 2a.m. the bar closed and a metal sliding gate fell from the ceiling and rested on the bar table top. As J.P. dropped the gate a drunk guy literally slipped his hand in the way and slid it back up and demanded another beer.

Around 3a.m. the drinks were emptied, the toilets filled with urine and throw up and the dancing started to dwindle. J.P. turned off the music, turned on the lights, opened the doors, began stacking the chairs, and started fan ventilation to freeze out the remaining 50 or so drunks.

The lack of music led them to making their own jingles. Multiple groups of people gathered around separate informal entertainers who told folk stories, sang their national anthem, and sang folk songs. I listened in amazement to the witty folk songs... Then I heard our national anthem and laughed with J.P. It was a sorry attempt, but it put a smile on my face.

Finally at 4a.m with 5 kegs cashed, 3 bins of empty bottles filled, trays upon trays of food eaten, and a cold draft blowing through the building the last of the drunks hit up a taxi and left.

J.P. and I bundled up all the table clothes, stacked the tables, finished stacking the chairs, and locked up. I walked out the door around 5a.m.

I fell asleep with the sun peaking through the blinds of my window...